Wednesday, March 22, 2017


We went for my 7wk appointment today. Yes, it's earlier than most people get to go but we go earlier to check placement of baby and for a heartbeat. Going in I was so nervous, I don't think the fear and the "what ifs" will ever go away after struggling with infertility and knowing all that can go wrong. I hope it does. I want to just be able to enjoy being pregnant but there is a lot of fear and anxiety mixed in with the joy.

I'm thrilled to say baby is looking good with a good spot picked out in my uterus and with a nice strong heartbeat! Seeing that little flutter and hearing the fast little beats...there is no joy that can compare! This is for real...I'm still struggling to believe it. I have a baby growing in my belly!And over 15 tests to prove it. 😏
 Gotta make sure!

Little baby bean.


Saturday, March 4, 2017

Is This Real Life?

On Feb 26 I woke up and took a pregnancy test. It was the second one I had taken this cycle, I took one two days before that I didn't really even watch because IF I was pregnant by some miracle, it was way too early to show up. When you've struggled with in infertility you're in one of two categories, you're either a POASA (pee on a stick addict which means you take home pregnancy tests even when you KNOW it won't be positive) or you avoid pregnancy tests like the plague. I am definitely in the first category. This time around I was just waiting for my period to come so I could start all of my IVF meds for our IVF cycle in March (did I ever even update and say that was the plan?). Anyway, I took a test when I woke up and set the timer on my phone and watched that little thing like a hawk...and my eyes (once again) started playing tricks on me. We call it "line eyes" in the infertility's when you see two lines when really there is only one (which means, again not pregnant). I stared and rubbed my eyes, and held it at different angles...there were definitely TWO LINES. I immediately swung the bathroom door open and yelled to Ben "come look at this! Is there another line on here?! I think there are two lines" Bless him, he was sound asleep and didn't know what I was talking about. But once he woke up a little he agreed that there was a second line but he didn't believe it was dark enough to be true. Here's the thing, ANY second line within the time-frame is because you have the pregnancy hormone, just maybe not a high level yet. Y'all, my heart was going CRAZY! I was shaking so bad. Could this be for real?!

I took a picture and jumped on Facebook to post in my infertility group and ask the ladies who would know for sure if there was a second line. And the consensus was, I'M PREGNANT!!!!!

Unless you have a LOT of experience, you probably can't even see a second line in the picture. Trust me, it's there! Since then I've gone for two betas (blood tests that measure the level of the pregnancy hormone) and they have been beautiful and confirmed a pregnancy that is progressing well.

We are in complete shock still. I am having such a hard time believing this is actually real, not a prank, not some After over 7yrs, too many medicated cycles to count, six failed IUI's, right before starting meds for IVF...I'M PREGNANT!!!!!

I'll probably set this post to private for a while. I'm about 5wks now and have told our families and closest friends but will wait a bit longer to share with the world.