Breaking the Silence

I know...it's been awful quiet around here for a while. There hasn't been much to update on. We've continued to wait, had another meeting with our CW to go over some stuff, kept waiting and finally, this week, we got a letter that said we're...
 

...yes, finally, we are approved! So now we wait for a call saying they have placements for us. Thank you for your continued support and prayers. We are excited to be another step forward in our journey and look forward to caring for and loving on some children!

Oh yeah...

Guess I forgot to tell you. We had MORE setbacks. Storms came through on March 2 so we had to cancel our meeting with our caseworker (basically, the whole mid-state shut down). We finally got rescheduled and actually met on March 30. Woohoo! :) We finished our last forms at the meeting and were able to get our fingerprinting done that same day too. However, we were also told that with having to wait on the new reference forms, background checks, etc. our homestudy report wouldn't be written and ready to go before the board (or whoever approves new foster parents) until their monthly meeting in mid MAY. Sooo we wait some more...

Please be in prayer that our last reference forms come in before mid May. I'm not sure what will happen if they don't...I really hope we don't have to wait until the June meeting though. The forms either didn't get sent out, were over looked or something. Regardless, there's been some kind of mix up but hopefully that will be taken care of this coming week.

Setbacks

I know it's been a long time since I've posted...there has been nothing to update about for a while. We've played phone tag with our caseworker a bazillion times since our home visit. It's so hard to get her on the phone to ask questions or work out anything. Nothing bad against her...she's awesome and we love her but caseworkers are just SO busy and have such huge loads. We're still in the beginning of this journey so we definitely aren't on the front burner for anything. Which is ok, I'm glad her focus is on who/what matters, but it is so darn hard to be patient some days!

Like I said, we've played lots of phone tag. After our home visit, we needed to get one more reference sent out and we need to fill out one more form (a parenting questionnaire). She had said she'd send them both out that week but days went by and nothing came (our friends who were to be our last reference never got anything either). I believe things got passed off to the people to send them out but I don't think they ever got sent...even after my calling and asking a few times.

Last Tuesday I was finally able to schedule a time (March 2) for us to go in to the office to do the parenting form with our CW (apparently we have to do that with her, she can't just send it...? ). No biggie, we'd rather have an actual date set and we have some questions about some stuff anyway. I asked about background checks because I know we need them but nothing had been said about them yet. She asked if we had been fingerprinted and we hadn't (they have to schedule it for/with us since they pay for it). We were supposed to get a call about that in the next day or two but by Friday we hadn't so I called her again and actually got to talk to her the same day! :) The lady who does the requests and appointment scheduling wouldn't be able to do it until this week sometime SO I've got my phone beside me waiting for that call! Hasn't come yet though.

The big (disappointing) news from that phone call? They (not sure if they is just the agency or the whole state) have to switch to new forms on March 1st....which for us means that all of our references have to be sent out AGAIN with the new forms on/after March 1st (today). And then when all of those are back in, our CW can start (finish?) writing up our report...which then has to go through the whole approval process. *sigh* I was so upset when I heard this, I thanked her for her hard work and for dealing with us/me calling a lot (she is working so hard) and I got off the phone and cried. I'll admit I was very angry. Not at her but just at the whole situation and that we are at least still another month out from getting approved and licensed. Thankfully I have great friends and an awesome husband who let me vent but reminded me that God is in control of this and He has a perfect plan for us and any kiddos we're meant to have....but it still is frustrating.

We meet with our CW tomorrow to go over our parenting form. It will help us all determine the best kids (age, number, developmental & physicals needs, etc.)  suited for us and our home. We've talked about 3yrs and under from the beginning and that is really what I'd like to stick with but who knows?!

Prayer requests at this point would be for patience in this long process and that things will go quick and smooth from here on out. Also pray that we will be who we need to be for these kids when the calls start coming and that God will continue to shape us. Thanks friends!

Our Homestudy Visit

Welp, yesterday was the big day! Our caseworker came for our home walk-through, interviews and to go over the safety check-list. We had time and she had time so we did the whole interview process yesterday (I think...?). We did our couple and our individual interviews. We filled out more (very intimate/personal) questionnaires and told her our life stories. She walked through our home and answered lots of questions I had about stuff. She is really laid back and cool so we were not nervous at all (except for the few minutes before she got here)! I'm glad we got someone who is comfortable to talk to and be around. I think she'll be great to work with.

From here we have some more forms and paperwork to fill out, get some copies of documents, etc. and then we enter another waiting time. She'll write up a review of our homestudy/us and her colleagues will read that and kinda "approve" us (they'll bring anything of concern/question to her and she'll clear things up with us), THEN it will go on to getting approved by the board or directors (not sure who actually does that) which will mean we'll be licensed...but that meeting only happens once a month and I'm not sure when. :/

We're hoping to have all of our stuff turned in by next Tuesday and then we'll just wait for their side to finish up to know whether we get licensed or not. I'm guessing it might be the end of this month or the beginning of next month when all that happens (I least I hope it's that soon!). THEN we wait for a placement for who knows how long! :) 

Thanks for all the love and prayers!

Date Night

We have a date!! We have a date!! We.Have.A.Date.
Ok so it's not really at night but still...WE FINALLY HAVE A DATE! :) A date for our caseworker to come to our home and start the home study process. Eeeek! I'm excited and nervous all over again! It's next Wednesday at 11am so if you could, please say some prayers for us as we start another part of this licensing process. Thanks.

I was beginning to feel very discouraged about this whole process. A call on November 17th to start this next step and then nothing for over five weeks...*sigh* I know Christmas must be such a busy time for them but we are so ready and that stall just wasn't fun. I'm sure that is one small stall in what will be tons throughout our foster care journey but like I said before, we're working on our patience still. :) I wasn't going to call again until next week (to make sure the holidays were out of the way!) but Benjamin decided he'd call today in case she was in the office and she wasn't (or at least didn't answer)...BUT she called him back and now we're set for next week. Yay!

I'm still working on getting the house ready and finished. Thankfully we have a copy of the home safety checklist so I can make sure all of that is in order. I'm working on some art for the foster room so I'll show you that soon. :) Hope your holidays were  merry and bright!

The Crib

After months of looking for a crib on craigslist and always finding them too late...we finally have a crib. :) It came with a mattress...but that mattress smells like cigarette smoke and leaves a gap all the way around the edge. I'm buying a brand new one today...to save effort and ensure we get a good one. So much for a deal, I could of bought this same crib new for the same price. Ah well, you live and learn.

Speaking of finally finding a crib...um, we have a crib in our house! It's a welcomed (and slightly panic-inducing) sight to see when I'm walking down the hall. :) We are so excited but (I'm guessing that) just like if I were pregnant...there are SO many unknowns, that sometimes it's awesome and sometimes scary. I'm a ball of nerves and excitement all wrapped up in one these days.

We heard from our caseworker back on like the 17th...and haven't been able to get a hold of her since then. I know caseworkers are extremely busy so right now we're just waiting for directions on what the next step is. We still have a ways to go before we get approved (or not) but I wish it would speed up! I'm ready to be in the waiting for a child part. From what I've read though, SLOW is a theme in foster care. So I suppose patience must be one of the many things we'll learn from this journey. 

ps-we have a crib. :)

Dresser Re-Do

I'm working, slowly but surely, on decorating and setting up our foster room. Thankfully, we have been able to leave that bedroom empty since moving here this summer so it at least doesn't need any cleaning out! I've been storing some things in the closet but mostly it's just baby and toddler items I picked up this summer at yard sales.
After shopping around (mostly on craigslist) for a long dresser to makeover and use for the room and never finding anything I liked, I decided to makeover a tall dresser and nightstand we already had...which also saved us money. :) 

I sanded everything slightly...and I mean slightly.

I used white Krylon Fusion for Plastic to spray paint everything.
(I needed 4 cans and it could have used one more coat but I was done!)

After the drawers dried, I used Rust-Oleum Ultra Touch in green apple. 
This brand covered MUCH better and went on smoother. 

I also painted the hardware with the white spray paint...but I forgot to take pictures. It seemed to work fine.
Obviously, I don't use any of these yet but the paint seems like it will stay on well so I didn't cover it with any type of sealer/coat. This project was SO easy. I'm dying to find something else to spray paint now! I LOVED how they turned out!

The Shaping of My Heart - Part 2

**this post was originally posted on my personal blog**

Back several months ago when I wrote the post The Shaping of My Heart - Part 1 I added the "Part 1" right before I posted it...and I didn't know why. In fact, it bothered me so much that I had intentions to take it off but never got around to. These past few months have been heart shaping also. In a wonderfully new way and I believe God has been working hard my whole life to bring me (and My Count) to where we are right now.

**if you haven't read Part 1, please go read it now and come back**

Through the life of this little blog I've talked off and on about my love for children, my desire to work with orphans, the confusion I've felt about not knowing where God wants me, the inadequacy I feel most days about being able to/not being able to help the hurting children of the world. (You can find some of those posts here, here and here). Like I talked about in Part One, I've struggled with finding my place in it all. Feeling the strong pull to help hurting children but not knowing how that would/should play out now that I'm *happily* married (not that I actually did much besides mission trips when I was single). We aren't in a position to go live in another country to work at an orphanage, we can only offer so much financial support, my husband doesn't have the same pull on his heart that I do (and that's OK)...but I've struggled with where all those experiences and heart pulls leave me now, here, today. Why would God put such deep desires in my heart, have me go through the experiences I did in Nigeria, Ukraine, and Honduras, lead me to the Child Development major I choose, only to bring me here...to a point in life where going to those places isn't really an option?

It's been a long road of questions, tears, and a whole lot of prayers that led us to where we are...but finally, I feel an overwhelming sense of peace in knowing how God wants me to fulfill my calling. I know for sure that I am here to do THIS and that He has been preparing me, and us, for it all along...it's overwhelming and brings me to tears sometimes because I have felt called to help these hurting children for so long and now, finally, I know how...

Benjamin and I are in the process of becoming foster parents! :)

It makes my heart sing and dance a happy little dance that finally our home will have little ones in it...and that though these children may not be orphans in the usual sense of the word, they are hurting and they need love and God sees US fit to provide a little of that for them. It's beautiful looking back and being able to see how everything has led us up to this point, to us feeling called to this, to the people and friends God has put in our lives, being led to where we are...it's beautiful and humbling. I'm so happy and honored to be playing this role in His great story...and that He is allowing us the opportunity to play a role in the lives of these precious children.

I pray that we will be a source of love for each little one who passes through our home and our hearts, that by being with us, for however long, they leave knowing HIS love a little better, and that by being a part of our lives their hearts will be shaped because I know each one will only continue shaping mine!

ps-I am SO happy you all get to come along on this journey with us. And I am also happy I can start talking to y'all about it now!! :)