Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Shaping of My Heart - Part 2

**this post was originally posted on my personal blog**

Back several months ago when I wrote the post The Shaping of My Heart - Part 1 I added the "Part 1" right before I posted it...and I didn't know why. In fact, it bothered me so much that I had intentions to take it off but never got around to. These past few months have been heart shaping also. In a wonderfully new way and I believe God has been working hard my whole life to bring me (and My Count) to where we are right now.

**if you haven't read Part 1, please go read it now and come back**

Through the life of this little blog I've talked off and on about my love for children, my desire to work with orphans, the confusion I've felt about not knowing where God wants me, the inadequacy I feel most days about being able to/not being able to help the hurting children of the world. (You can find some of those posts here, here and here). Like I talked about in Part One, I've struggled with finding my place in it all. Feeling the strong pull to help hurting children but not knowing how that would/should play out now that I'm *happily* married (not that I actually did much besides mission trips when I was single). We aren't in a position to go live in another country to work at an orphanage, we can only offer so much financial support, my husband doesn't have the same pull on his heart that I do (and that's OK)...but I've struggled with where all those experiences and heart pulls leave me now, here, today. Why would God put such deep desires in my heart, have me go through the experiences I did in Nigeria, Ukraine, and Honduras, lead me to the Child Development major I choose, only to bring me a point in life where going to those places isn't really an option?

It's been a long road of questions, tears, and a whole lot of prayers that led us to where we are...but finally, I feel an overwhelming sense of peace in knowing how God wants me to fulfill my calling. I know for sure that I am here to do THIS and that He has been preparing me, and us, for it all's overwhelming and brings me to tears sometimes because I have felt called to help these hurting children for so long and now, finally, I know how...

Benjamin and I are in the process of becoming foster parents! :)

It makes my heart sing and dance a happy little dance that finally our home will have little ones in it...and that though these children may not be orphans in the usual sense of the word, they are hurting and they need love and God sees US fit to provide a little of that for them. It's beautiful looking back and being able to see how everything has led us up to this point, to us feeling called to this, to the people and friends God has put in our lives, being led to where we's beautiful and humbling. I'm so happy and honored to be playing this role in His great story...and that He is allowing us the opportunity to play a role in the lives of these precious children.

I pray that we will be a source of love for each little one who passes through our home and our hearts, that by being with us, for however long, they leave knowing HIS love a little better, and that by being a part of our lives their hearts will be shaped because I know each one will only continue shaping mine!

ps-I am SO happy you all get to come along on this journey with us. And I am also happy I can start talking to y'all about it now!! :) 

1 comment:

  1. Hello there - didn't even know you had this blog - where have I been? So excited about this new journey and happy for you too!